Hurdle Race

This prelim is just like another hurdle in a race and I failed to cross this hurdle without getting injured or something... Indeed, I did very badly for this prelim but at least this prelim tells me about my progress and the amount of efforts I had put into studies. Obviously, I did not put in much efforts in this prelim. I am like a runner in the last position while others are far ahead of me. Today, while I stayed in school helping Mrs. Koh with something, there is one thing that she said that created a huge impact on me. She told me that the fact that I passed through the streaming in Sec 2 and get into the current class proved something... But I forget what that something is... And she also encouraged me not to give up on myself.

The only supports that I had in the upcoming major exam is the teachers in school and myself. Honestly, after receiving the prelim results, I lost all hope and seriously, I was at the verge of giving up. As you know, being in the first class can sometimes be stressful, especially you can't do as well as your classmates and you will feel some kind of rather the odd one out or the black sheep. After the encouragement, I told myself that it is time to do something, except for giving up, and I have to fulfilled whatever plans I have for myself and hopefully, make it into a poly or taking poly as a benched mark, if possible, a JC... These are the plans I have for now but in fact there are more... My job, my mission, the purpose of me to even exist in this world, is to complete my life 'hurdle race' with perfection after the race is finished, and go on to the next level...

Dreams...

Finally, after a whole of 2 weeks, prelim was finally going to be over... Tomorrow is the my last paper and well after that, just have to get ready for 1 last major exam, 'O' level... I have been talking about 'O' level since the day I started a blog and my wish for next year. My dream is to get to Singapore Poly and if I can make it, I want to get into course for biochemical engineering... It had been my dream since young. Well if not, np is also not a bad choice, only if I can't get into sp. Those jokers are rather quiet these few days, maybe due to exam period and everyone were focusing on the exam. I hope they can be like this everyday, then I won't have much hatred for them, well look like the seed of hatred has been planted in me and look like it will not be removes so easily now... Even they stop their nonsenses (i doubt they will).

From now, major exams are just few weeks away and i doubt anyone would have the mood to blog. Well i think that is it...

(P.S. I wish that I can go back to the past and let the time stop at my favourite moments for good... Sigh!)

Week Reflection

1 week of prelim is over and tomorrow is the new start and it is going to be a difficult week. Why? Not to mention about those jokers, it is 'A' maths that is going to kill my mood for that week. Last week was rather an easy week to pass through. This past 2 nights, I had a rather strange dreams that somehow I felt that there is a meaning in these two dreams that I had and somehow they are related. It is nothing much and I don't feel comfortable making them known to public. It's another of my secrets.

I had recently read an article in the Reader's Digest that really set me thinking, " Are men allow to cry?". There is a saying that men are only allow to shed blood but not tears and for those men who cannot control their emotions, for most of us we will label them as 'sissy'. In the article, it was also mention that males tends to hold back what they are going to say as they fear that once the words come out of their mouth, they will be humuiliated or even offend others. For those men who feel powerless will eventually shut himself down and withdraw. I don't say this is stupid but it is exactly what is happening to me, well because of those jokers in school. It also features how we can release our stress and anger and finally after reading this article, I find out the reasons why I get so 'freak-out' at home, after coming back from school.

Well, it is just another week before the first obstacle is over for me and my another obstacle is the 'O' level at the end of this year... Who cares? Let's let nature takes its course...

Anger in me

What exactly is my purpose in life and how am I going to achieve it? It's those jokers again and without fail, not knowing what their motives are, they tried to make others repel me. I was so depressed and how much I wish that when I wait up the next morning, it will be a new chapter for me. Somehow or others, I just suspect that this blog of mine has been made known to those jokers or even if they still did not know about my blog website, I feel that some of the contents in this blog had been leaked out, and the prime suspect? Nazri... There were no other than him in my class that know about my blog and from what Zekai had told me about Nazri revealing his blog to others, I just can't help having doubts about him. And just yesterday, Qi Xian said that I spread rumour about him and completely ignore me yesterday. Although he didn't said anything, I suspected it was those jokers that were behind all these. It was not only today that I find out that my guess was correct and true enough, it was those jokers behind it. I was so furious and really can't wait to crash them into pieces. Since they like dota so much, I swear that after 'O' level exams, I am going to get even with them and make them realised how weak they can be without one another and don't ever again think that height makes one superior.

Not until whether if my doubts and my suspicious that my blog had been make known or even the content in this blog by someone is confirmed, I am not going to mention anything about her.

My Aims

Holiday is here again!! But soon after it is going to be our prelim... Prelim is one thing I hate to talk about as it always gives me some kind of nervous feeling, maybe my own expectations are now high for certain reasons and that is the reason why I have such feeling. My expectations for my physics and chemistry must be at least a B3 and for my 'E' maths, at least a B3 too since I spent so much time on it... As for 'A' maths, I don't really cared much now, wanted to fully concentrate on those impt. subjects first... Yesterday I just went to play basketball with Ben and Chee Beng and I got hurt 2 times in the game, well this is not the first time I got hurt because of playing basketball... Quite a lot of fun though... Ben offered to help me in some of my personal thing but I am not really sure if I should let him help, well as you know its personal and I hate it when... Oops! Almost gives all of you a big clue what is that 'some personal things'... I just hope that he would not screw up everything.

Talking about holidays, really nothing much to do except for staying at home and study... Well, what you expect? Prelim is just next week and time are passing by really fast... Better not talk much about Prelims anymore. I think that is all for today...