360 Degree Changes

I have been thinking for for quite a long time now. There is a saying, "爱情是要靠缘份". What is gone, is gone... What is history, is already history... All we left are some memories. Heartache? That is totally unavoidable. After today, I thought to myself, "Instead of looking back in the past, Why not look forward into the future?" Just like those jokers, I guess she is history now. Life still have to go on, isn't it?

Haix~ "有缘无份", what to do? I told myself that I am going to make a 360 degree changes in my life. First, I want to 'kill' all my bad habits, included the recently taken up, mahjong. Yes, winning is fun but losing is painful, just like relationships. Then, I have to ensure that I make it to the poly next... Driving license? Maybe during some of my free time? Maybe holidays? Relationships? I really don't want to think so much about this issue now. I want to know if my '缘份' with her is there or not? If there is, why not try another shot at it?

To conclude this entry, I want to end it with this particular MV: 《为什么相爱的人不能在一起》

Angry Yet Worry

I was feeling kinda useless cos i just couldn't learn how to skate right. Well! At least it was fun... All of us have fun. We went ice-skate at leisure park, kallang. We were there till 9pm. Actually, last friday was the only day that me and rachel were out so late. I guess it was my fault somehow. Our initial plan was skate till 8pm but rachel wanted to skate for an hour more. If only i insisted she stopped and we sent her home early, will the situation be different?

I was worried all the way from Sengkang back to Clementi. I heard from Natalie that rachel's mother called her and some past events, i was worrying sick. I was worrying that she would get into trouble with her parents. I really failed as her bf. When i saw her fell while we were ice-skating, i wanted to rush over and help her out but ended up falling myself. In the end, Wee Kang had to help both of us up. You could say that i am jealous, which i don't know if i am really are but that type of feeling was like... Heavy? Ya... It was a heavy feeling, no doubt. Furthermore, I found out from natalie that rachel had been skipping meals just to get out of turf club, to the extent that she has gastric pain. I failed to realize or know about her health condition. She had been telling me that she had gastric pains but all i thought that maybe she was heaty, that's all... But i never thought that it was that serious. Maybe Wee Kang is right, i had been giving in to her too much. Well! What can i do now? Except for worrying about her, What can i do? Just hope that she is alright... :(

Ice-Skating/Neoprints @ JEC

Got my result today and really quite disappointing... 47/50 for my POM... Yea, it's an 'A' but i expect full mark for this paper cos i study damn hard for this paper, almost till dawn. 3 marks lost at careless mistakes, i guess... Well! Put this aside and let recall about yesterday event.

After both of us failed to meet in June holiday, well we met yesterday to go ice-skating at jurong entertainment centre (JEC). We stake for about 1 hour and had to rush the girls back home cos they had to be back home by 6.30pm. Though the whole trip may be very rush but then for me, i cherished every moment i had with rachel. What is embarrassing is that both me and rachel can't skate well, in fact both of us can't skate at all. But it was fun after all. After ice-skating, we went to take some neoprints. Come to think of it, they were rushing to go home but when we were taking neoprints, they can actually forgot they were rushing for time. While they were decorating the neoprints, i was left standing there, thinking "How amusing that the neoprints can make the girls forget almost everything and completely engrossed in it?". I guess somehow, that is girls' nature which maybe we guys, will never understand.

Besides being a fun day, it was also a quite emo day which i do not wish to talk about before i get emo again. Well! I get easily emo... lolz :)

The Foursome ([Top Left]Wee Kang, Me, Rachel and Natalie[Bottom Left])

Past Weeks Review

Some feelings once you missed it, you can never find it back. My point is that instead of waiting, why not note it down somewhere so that that feelings can be retrieve in years down the road.

Just happy that mr. neo came back and teaches us POM. My class normally called him 'mullet', i supposed there is something to do with his hairstyle or something. He is not that strict and maybe because of that, my class really likes him. I don't know about others but for me, really quite surprising that he came back. I guess Rachel is not the only one that is looking forward to this wednesday cos i, myself, also feel the same way. It really been a long time since we met up on March and we can't really meet up as and when we want cos of some restrictions and some controls. 7 months and how long more can it lasts? Well! It's something which none of us can control sometimes.

My friend told me something today but he is afraid that i will be offended or something, however he still told me about it. He told me that my family members are quite selfish and for me, to a certain extent, i think it is quite true. I always believe that if you treat others good, others will treat you better but in most of my case, this is not true. Really sad! The impression that my family gave to my friends is selfish and what's more i can say?

And lastly, i received my WAD results, an 'A'... but strangely, i don't really feel happy about it anymore. Not because i am proud or what but... i don't know. For my POM, i have yet to receive it, possibly next week. That's all for today now!

(P.S. Can't wait till Wednesday)

The New Age

Happy Birthday to Me

Happy Birthday to Me

Happy Birthday to Nigel

Happy Birthday to Me

2nd July... and i am finally 18. It really worth celebrating. Looking back into the 18 years of my life, almost everything were completely different. One year is getting better than the other. And year by year, i learnt quite a number of things, about people and about myself. My cousin, Jocelyn, is the first to wish me "Happy Birthday" at the strike of 12, and i am really quite happy (oh shit! getting emotional again!), though i hope it is someone else...

As for my birthday wishes... Well! Here they go:

i) Wish that everything goes well in my family this year, next year and the year after and so on.

ii) Wish that i am able to pass well and head on to poly and towards University.

iii) Wish that me and her can last forever.

3 simple wishes... well! not that simple cos the second one really need to work hard myself and the last one is totally depends on Rachel. For 18 years, i had let my seriousness got over the other me. And now, thanks to my current classmates, i am able to bring the 'cartoon' side of me out into the open. 18 years... i have achieved and underachieved what i had targeted for. 18 years... i may or may not find my true existance. Well! There are still many more years for me to explore about my surrounding and myself, aren't there?