Self-Hatred

"Nigel, you are a fking dumbass, jackass, an idiot, a coward and there is nothing nice to describe you! What have you been doing for her, for the past 1 month, to try and win her back? Why can't you do anything right? Why do you even bother wants to keep your feeling for her? Why can't you even answer a simple question like,'Why do you like me?'?"

I am such a failure. I figured out the reasons why I like her but when she asked, I am tongue-tied. I compressed all my other feelings just to keep my love for her. The Flash project and the pineapple tarts I made, I did them for only a reason, and she is the reason. I am always undecisive, regarding whether things involves others or myself. At that critical moment that may turn the tide, I backout! Honestly, I am afraid things may not turn out the way I want them to turn out. I am afraid she won't call me again. Oh god! Who can tell me WHAT I CAN DO? What if she ignore me once I confessed my feelings for her like Jaime? WHAT SHOULD I DO?

"Nigel, you know that she is different from Jaime. She is once your girlfriend and that alone make her different from Jaime! If you don't tell her, how will she know your feelings? Then, all those things you did for her will be worthless! Just tell her when you think the time is right. Trust yourself and listen to your heart."