January Recount

Today is the last day of January. Many things seems to happen all at once during this month. Complicated feelings and so on, i am just too mess up. But then, look on the bright side, at least things are going accordingly. Today just received the ERP CA result and well, i got 47.5/60, convent to 24%, well i get 19%. At least i got a 'B' for this module which i had really no confidence in.

Talking about confidence, i don't seems to have at all. In regardless of things i do, i tend to look at the negative side. You could say that i am a coward but after going through so many things in life, i am damn tired... Tired of those negative effects after i tried to achieve something. I just don't want to face anything negative anymore. "Looking the bright side of life" is easier said than done, especially when someone talks about something or someone that you like or you used to like, seriously my mind just 'collasped' (went blank), leaving my heart confused. This feeling seems to tell me that i am running away from reality, but i really can't control it. I want to look at the positive side but i am afraid that if it turns out negative, i would just breakdown.

Enough of all these craps and just get on with it. Maybe my way of wanting everything perfect is wrong. It will only bring more misery than good.

Looking Forward To...

The first month of 2008 is ending soon... haix~ But soon, Chinese New Year is approaching, yeah! Well, CNY is a festival which really make those adults damn headache, especially there are a lot of children in the house. They will have to give out a lot of 'ang pao' but who cares, as long as we have money, hehe!

January is the month which nothing special happened to me. I asked myself again and again, if I were to retake the 'o's last year, will I do better or for worse? But for sure, whether better or worse, this road is fixed for now. And really have to congratz all my friends that had done well for their 'o's retake though. There is something that I don't get it. All my friends feel that Business IT is a module that is not easy to study, but in my point of view, I felt that it is relatively easy as long as you listen and revise your work when the exams are near. Like History, Business are just pure theory. It is all about memorising, that's all. What so difficult? Even if you don't listen in class, jot down all the notes that teacher show, an 'A' should never be a problem. At least this is how I think. Different people have different point of view. Maybe they are those sort of people that hate memorising things, who knows? Oh yea! Valentine's Day is coming too. And I guess I won't be bother by THAT incident again. Life is different now, hopefully. Unlike other years, I guess I am quite looking forward to it... But then still, THAT incident will still never fade away. Without me recaping here, I guess all of you know what happened cos I think I had mention it many times.

Well! Have to go now... Zzzz......

Feelings

Today's ERP test is well, relatively easy, i could say, but then cannot guarantee if i can make it or not... sigh! what's next? Well, just prepare for the final year examination in March. Though this may be only 24% but for me, it is quite a big % for me if I want to aim for Poly.

Somehow, i feel that heaven is making fun of me. Things that I want for a long time but never get it but when I do not want it anymore, it came coming back. It is like taking my hopes away and then return it to me. What is the use? The situation is totally different now. But whatever it is, at least i am happy now, i think... For the 1st time in class, i actually scolded vulgar language in class, well, got a $1 fine, haix!~ Seriously, i was so fed up with what my friend had done. But to be honest, in my heart, i am quite happy that i am able to work with her. I used to dream of it day to day. Sound a little bit despo? Well! What can i do? It is a feeling that I can't control, can I?All of us have some untold feelings, don't we?

I guess that is the update for today... Is feelings really that important? Wouldn't it be better if we feel nothing at all? haix!~ Maybe or maybe not...

Stress!!!!!!!!!!!

Project this and project that... I am so damn stress and tired of all the projects. Above all, test and exam coming up. Too stress... Seriously, sometimes i just want to stop whatever i am doing and just entertain myself with games and etc. All these, those adults just don't know. All they know is that i am lazy, not doing anything useful etc. Doing projects sometimes really stress me out, especially when team members all depend on you. Worse, they just complain they have too much to do. Sometimes, i tell myself, i would rather do all these myself.

This term really busy. One obstacles after another. Sometimes, i tell myself, why don't you give yourself a break? Take a walk outside? Go shopping? But the problem is that my body don't allow me to do so. I am so tired yet i am worrying about almost everything. PIE, BCM, ETP and ERP, all these are just enough to kill me. All i want is someone to take away all my stress and that person is none other than her. With her, i just felt that i can relax a lot. Maybe because of her activeness. Like i said, she is like my sunshine. It is like a bit mushy but whatever i said here is true. You really don't know how love is like, until you actually get to experience it yourself. Whatever i had endure in the past, i got all my just rewards now. Friends, relationship, academic results etc., things that i don't usually have in the past. It is like now all my dreams and hopes have been turn into reality. I guess i will get through another obstacles, that is all these projects, tests and exams, for now i am not alone anymore. I was able to endure through those time alone, what's more now? But still, i am still feeling quite stress...

Week Review

Why are people always so stubborn? Why can't they think of what others are feeling? I mean, with all these conflicts, it is really hard to keep them together. Sometimes, people think that they are letting go, but in them, they are not. They know what they want in their hearts but just could not say it out loud. It is understandable that your loved one is going away and not coming back, the feelings that they have, but the ultimate problem is yourself.

From all these years, I had learnt many things that are not taught in school, through friends or experiences. I applied whatever I had seen or heard to my daily life. From there, I made a note of it and well, there it is, something new is learn. Read through all your notes that you had made, and tell yourself that this will never happen again, this should be how we learn. Being stubborn should be something that you should throw away. For myself, if I were that stubborn, I guess I will never meet her. You may injure once or twice, but if you get back up and fight again, somehow you will see another road that lead you to victory. I learnt this when playing basketball with my friends. So you see, in wherever we go, we will learn something. It is a matter of whether we know what are the lessons. Time will tell the truth. Zzzz... Tired! Better take a nap now. Expecting tonight will be a long night... And one last thing, I am really glad that the orientation is over...

2008 Jan Orientation

It's only the 1st day and im so tired. wtf! Running up and down the stairs, taking photos of the orientation. To make thing worse, it lasted for a week, except Thursday. I will be damn tired by the end of the week. All i hope now is to slow things down and take a break. What's more can i ask for? Sometimes, i asked myself, why do I even take up this job? Really sucks! On the bright side, at least the teachers had not taught anything yet. At least not today. I am not worry about anything, except my studies. Just imagine the lessons i will miss really boiled me up. I am on the verge of going downhill and yet, this orientation last for a week. omg! Just hope that this week end fast.

Well! So far so good. What can I expect more? This maybe my challenge. Testing me on if I have what it takes to maintain the results or not, or maybe for my class, take it as another week break, who's know? So tired, don't feel like continue anymore. Just post some pics here, to be exact, 1 pic here.

yay! I know that I look stupid like this...

2008-Days To Discover

You are not in the wrong blog but in fact is my new blog skin. The reason why I choose this skin is because, firstly, this skin is closer to my blog's theme that is 童话. Secondly, each skins and songs that I choose reflect directly at my feelings at that very moment. For me, the best way to let out my feelings is through music and pictures. Whether, I am happy, sad, heart-broken or angry, I have no way to express them out except through music most of the time.

This is the second day of 2008 and I have yet to make my new year resolution. My new year resolution is simple.
1) Achieve same or better results than 2007.
2) Whether possible or not, hope the relationship lasts.
Well, simple isn't it? Relationship? erm, better not say not much about it 1st, to prevent more gossips here or rather insults etc. Like I say, 2008-Days To Discover, there are much more thing for me to learn and apply. Fairy童Tales话 has enter another year which is not what I had expected but well, it survive and so far so good.

Next week is the start of new term and well, wishing, everyone that I know, the best in the days to come, in all areas.