January Recount

Today is the last day of January. Many things seems to happen all at once during this month. Complicated feelings and so on, i am just too mess up. But then, look on the bright side, at least things are going accordingly. Today just received the ERP CA result and well, i got 47.5/60, convent to 24%, well i get 19%. At least i got a 'B' for this module which i had really no confidence in.

Talking about confidence, i don't seems to have at all. In regardless of things i do, i tend to look at the negative side. You could say that i am a coward but after going through so many things in life, i am damn tired... Tired of those negative effects after i tried to achieve something. I just don't want to face anything negative anymore. "Looking the bright side of life" is easier said than done, especially when someone talks about something or someone that you like or you used to like, seriously my mind just 'collasped' (went blank), leaving my heart confused. This feeling seems to tell me that i am running away from reality, but i really can't control it. I want to look at the positive side but i am afraid that if it turns out negative, i would just breakdown.

Enough of all these craps and just get on with it. Maybe my way of wanting everything perfect is wrong. It will only bring more misery than good.