Another Lesson Learnt

Everytime, it seems to me that 'someone' or 'something' is leading me to the way i should be heading. Everytime, something happened, that 'someone' or 'something' will leave me a message through someone else... It could be teachers or maybe some occurances. In this case, i learnt one thing through a story about a deaf frog, "Never Listen To Others' Tendencies to be Negative or Pessimistic". This reminds me of someone who always remind me to look at the positive side. This person, as for now, is a real friend. Always the first person to support and i feel safe telling her my feelings.

Angry with Alvin? Nah! What's the use? But i may not go to the SC or BC as often as i used to have. Today, we get to know each other in class through a game that required an adjectives beginning with the same first letter of our names. I used the word, "Negative Nigel". My classmates were like asking me why i used the word, "Negative". And in the end, i changed it to, "Nice Nigel"... Haha! It is good to have people who care and who understand you, but it is also irritaing to have people who doesn't care about what others feel... Angry with such people will only shorten my lifespan, so why bother? But i guess there will be a lot of explaining to do if i ever go to SC or BC again to someone... or maybe i will have someone to pass the message...

(Extract: Never Listen To Others' Tendencies to be Negativeor Pessimistic)

LiveJournal

I had recently switched to livejournal, but unfortunately, it is only for people that i trusted the most. If you did not know my livejournal URL, you are probably not on my most trusted list of people. However, i may continues to post right here... Bored as it may be, if you don't like, please leave... Thank You! :)

Regard,
- Nigel

My Reflection Of The Week

Look like the truth is all out within a week. I mean even a three-year-old will find something weird about what Alvin told me lor... There had to be links about whatever happened. And like what i expected, everything is linked up. *Sigh!* Never mind la... What's done cannot be undone. No use blaming anyone except myself for trusting the wrong person.

As for yesterday (23 April), things got a bit messy during soccer games. I was expecting to see JM with TI but then he was alone at the basketball court. It was only minutes later when TI came down all by herself. During the last soccer game, things got too heaty. MH pushes LI onto the ground, and eventually we had to stop the game and proceeded to our usual hangout at the playground... Seeing TI so emo, i asked her what happened. Well, she replied mood swing... Just being concerned about her as a friend, i wanted to cheer her up but did not know how to... I am not as humourous as my brother. That's when i rmb about the piggy video and showed it to her. Well, i just hope she did cheered up after that. By the way, i rather see her smile then to see her frown. When she was emo-ing, i was rather scared to ask her what happened cos' i rmb the 1st time i ask her the same question, she was like very angry. But i thought, as a friend or even sometimes, being a guy, we should sometime try and understand the feelings of others. I lived for 19 years and i have seen how people reacts to others' feelings, esp. guys...But whatever the case is, i can't retrieved what i had missed...

Almost 1 week into adapting my life in poly... Later there is still lectures in the morning... Better get some rest now or i will have 'panda eyes' early in the morning...

(P.S. Trust No One Except Yourself)

New Visions In Life

Wa sianz lah... 1st is my ex, now xiaofen! WTF! I really had to learn not to put everything into my blog. A simple blog that allow me to put down my feelings becomes my worst nightmare. Oh great! I guess my chance is even lower now. But i am wondering, who got links into my blog that eventually allows her into my blog. But that's not impt now... With that, my chance drops from 40-60 (win-lose) to just merely 10-90...

By now, I should have get use to it. For me, good things that happen to me are all just too good to be true. That's why, i dare not have my hopes high at the beginning. All those brave fronts are just covers. 10% are also chance or maybe not even 10%... Maybe 0.00001%.... Whatever the chances are, there is still chance, as long as it is not zero. On my way back home, I came across 3 simple quotes that i think can be used in my life:

1) The state of life is the reflection of the state of mind

2) It is difficult to beat down a person who never gives up

3) The difference between the impossibles and the possibles lie in one's determinations

To simplify everything, i shouldn't give up so easily. So what if she knows that i like her? So what if i am rejected? It is not as in it is the end of the world. The most impt thing in life is that, you give everything you have. Successful or not, it is not impt. But if i failed without trying, that would be my greatest regret in life...

Untitled

Oh great! 5 more days left before school starts... Just order my notebook online today and wonder when am i going to receive it... Well, today is just like any other normal days, as in normal for me, i guess. Went to queensway to collect my soccer jersey and then to CMPB for deferment.

I know my blog is abit boring cos there are nothing except videos from Youtube. Pathetic! Whatever it is, i will try and post more pics. Well, there is a saying, "Pictures Tells A Thousand Words".

Best GoalKeeper In Town... lolz! jkjk

爱恨难

Last sat juz went to queenway to make soccer jersey. Dun be mistaken. I didn't join any particular soccer team. It is juz our own street soccer team. I know it may be a bit...childish, but juz want to be part of everyone else cos most of the time i felt so lack out.

I wondered, "Why do people have feelings?". Feelings make people so confuse. Sometimes they didn't even know what to do next. You want people to understand how you feel but they juz make a joke out of it. Secrets? Who to trust except yourself... Since a number of people oredi know. I think it should be ok to put it right here in my blog. Well, i admit that i am envy and jealous of my brother. But what i am about to say does not have any links of what i feel about my brother. I like xiaofen... And i dun wan to miss the opportunity like i did previously. Remember when i said that my brother had a secret admirer? Well it was her and that's why i went home earlier that day, emo-ing... I happen to find her blog and well, i read her entries. Well, i am not a very good-looking guy who lives in the neighborhood, like my brother, but i deserve to have a chance to like someone and she has the right to know about it, no matter the outcome, isn't it?

(P.S. 恨总比爱容易放下<3)

Broken Heart

It is now an hour past midnight and here i am still blogging. There seems to be a lot of things bothering me ytd. I dunno what got over me but my heart felt as if it had been stabbed multiple times. The pain was so unbearable that i really wanted to cry out loud but i can't.

I tried to patch up with Rachel but to no avail. I thought that i could start all over again but 2 days after my class chalet, my crush actually had a bf oredi. To make things worse, people around me kept adding salt to my wounds. This is when i thought, everything will be back to normal once i got used to it. Ytd, my 'used-to-be' crush was hit by a ball on her head. My first intention was to go and find out how she was. But then, i couldn't cos this is a job for her bf. So all i did was to call her bf over and let her bf handle the situation. At that point of time, i just thought to myself, "If he was me, will i quarrel with my friend over this matter? Do i even have the guts to quarrel with him?". It may be not a good idea to say this but i just had to say it. If I knew the ball was flying towards her earlier, i could have hit that ball away from her. Somehow, my feelings get even more uncontrollable when Alvin add more salt into my wounds. This got worse when i heard that my brother has a secret admirer. My heart was almost sliced into two. I was so jealous of him. In the past, i always told myself that no matter what, never ever let BGR affect our brotherly love. I told myself, "Blood is always thicker than Water.". But the envy and the jealousy, it got stronger as i tried to compress it. I finally realised one thing, i had been living in his shadow all these years, in terms of academic, relationships, sports and etc. When i can't compress it anymore, i knew i had to return home first before it got worse.

I am so envy of my brother. He always has secret admirers but for me, even if i wanted to be with a girl i like, it always seems so near and yet so far. I had never succeeded in asking a girl out before *Sad* :( ... Nevertheless, i still have a dream that would never fade away: To reach further than anyone could ever reach.

Polytechnic Posting Result (JPAE)

WooHoo! The posting results are finally out, and as i promised, i am here to update about it. So happy and so excited. Never in my life had i got into my first choice school but now i finally got into my desired poly. Remember my desired polys are SP and NP... Well, i got into NP and the course that i got into is the course directly related to what i had learnt, BIT... Swee! :)

Well, i am happy but this may not be true for some. For those able to get into poly, but not what they desired, well i believe that being able to study in poly is always better than not able to... And for those not able to, well just try to see if you can appeal or something. I learnt a phrase from a drama, "Opportunities are for those who cherish them." No matter how down you are, earn that opportunity and cherish it when it comes. There were occasions when people think that i am being too ambitious or something, but i just smile to them. I know if i work hard enough, someday, it will be my turn. My next target: University.

Now with this over, i supposed the next update will be on 10th April and i guess, that day will either be my happiest or sadest day... lolz. Well... that's all for today...

Release of Exam Results

Well... My last and final results were finally released. And how did i fare? 2 'A's and 1 'B'... And my overall GPA? 3.508...

Seriously, i was a bit surprised that my AIT got an 'A'... What i predicted was that my AIT get a 'B' and PIC get an 'A', but it seems like it is the other way round. But in the end, the GPA and the grades are all what i had predicted. I kind of calculated the total number of each grade i had throughout the 2 years, so as to see what i had achieved. Well... The result is: 17 'A's, 4 'B's, 1 'C' and 1 'D'... Now, it is the matter of which poly i get into now... I guess. With this over, i am waiting for my most important result... Its importance can never be describe with words. Look like April is a month full of events for me. Well, i guess that's all...

More updates coming up in 3rd April and 10th April...